Uncomfortable Plot Summaries for Famous Movies and TV Shows

“Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.”

That is just one of the fantastically hilarious “Uncomfortable Plot Summaries” found at (postmodernbarney.com), a site we discovered today thanks to good old Jason Kottke. What is that one a summary of? Why, The Goonies, of course.

Here are few more of our favorites:

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.

DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.

GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.

HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.

LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.

STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide

TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.