Visions and Missions
I had a vision of a house today. Amidst the throbbing pain in my arm where they stuck me two days ago and amidst a work day filled with harsh criticism, both from myself and from my boss… Amidst it all, I had a vision of the house I’d like to live in. I think I’d like to share that vision with you tonight.
The most important things about it were that it sat in the middle of nowhere in Maine and that it had a huge lot, a tremendous amount of acreage. It was by the water, preferably by the Ocean. A nice river would do though. There was the house and at least one out-building, a barn which housed a printing press on the bottom floor and a stage/auditorium/dance studio on the top floor.
The most vivid part of my dream was that my property was big enough that I reguarly rode my bike or a horse across it.
When I tie this vision together with others, I see a complete picture of the home I’d like to inhabit one day. It’s those kind of visions that get me through the here and now, where getting berated at work is almost expected.
I was in a lot of pain today and I got very little sleep, not being able to sleep on one side because of my arm. I wasn’t in the mood for bullshit. I wasn’t in the mood to be fucked with. And it turns out I did get bullshit thrown my way and I was fucked with.
I shouldn’t have worked out this afternoon, feeling the way I did, but I exercized anyway. My credo has become, “You don’t get out of it unless your throwing your guts up into the toilet. If you’re exceptionally sick you can rest, but otherwise you work out you fat fuck.” Those words actually go through my head. I do consider myself a mostly fat fuck.