Five Second Critic 007: Stephen King

In this episode, I ask a very important question about the continuing career of horror legend Stephen King.

Watched it and still confused? Here’s Five Second Critic for Dummies:

In 2002, following a car accident that nearly killed him, horror novelist Stephen King announced his intention to stop publishing books. The thing is, he lied.

Sure, he said that he had a few more books in the can that would come out before the end, but I think we’ve long since seen the last of those. Since 2002, King has published From a Buick 8, the last couple books in his Dark Tower series, The Colorado Kid, Lisey’s Story, Cell, Duma Key, Under the Dome, and, just last week, a new collection of short stories called Full Dark, No Stars.

Now, don’t get us wrong: we’re happy he’s still here and still writing. But we think that the very idea that a writer like King, who seems truly addicted to his work, could ever really retire, is absurd. It’s even more absurd than the multiple retirements of Michael Jordan and the ongoing drama of Brett Favre. Because, really, it’s going to take outright senility for his writing muscles to become ineffective.

So, Steve, don’t ever tell us you’re retiring again. Okay, pal? You’ll retire only when you go toes up. You know, and we know it.