Five Second Critic 009: Annie

In this episode, I ask a vital question regarding the return to pop culture prominence of that precocious red-headed interloper Annie.

Watched it and still confused? Here’s Five Second Critic for Dummies:

As explained previously in our Nine Inch Nails Oeuvre Blog, both Trent Reznor and Michael Jackson have written popular songs about a girl called Annie. Jackson did it with “Smooth Criminal” in 1987 and Reznor followed that up with “The Becoming” in 1994. And though some might call the connection between these songs tenuous at best, we here at Geek Force Five still stand firmly behind our thesis.

We are also proud to announce that we have expanded our argument to include the television show Lost, where a girl named Annie was the childhood love of major baddie Benjamin Linus, and the musical Annie, which features the exploits of the eponymous redhead.

See, here’s what we think happened: After Annie’s exploits with Daddy Warbucks in the 1930s, she was shipped off to the Island for her own safety. Her hair was permanently dyed and straightened by the waters at the Heart of Island and she did not age. Then she met Ben in the 1970s and hung out for a while. But, all good things must come to an end, and she was shipped off just before the whole Dharma Initiative was wiped out in the late 80s/early 90s. She moved to Cleveland, broke the heart of a young Trent Reznor, then moved to L.A., got killed, and had her body discovered by Wacko Jacko himself.

Or something like that. Whatever the case, it simply must be acknowledged that the world revolves around this one girl and that the multiverse would collapse without her.