Platitudinous Tripe

by Jon Frazier

With the exception of country music as a genre, there are few songs that I dislike. (Well, there’s also Rap, but that’s another post.) Usually, there is just one song a year that holds this special honor. To define dislike — I mean not just a song that I will pass over when tuning the radio, but a song that will actually put me in a bad mood when I hear it. This is usually because the song is part of a genre that I like, and appears regularly on a favorite station. This song is sneaky — it usually has a hook that is hard to distinguish from a song that I like, and thus the tricky little bastard gets me before I know what’s happening. This song is catchy, and will get stuck in my head, feeding my hatred. This song also torments me because it is popular, and I can’t escape it, and I can’t understand why the other intelligent people around me can’t see through it’s smarmy façade.

One past Most Hated Song of the Year winner was 2008’s “Say (What You Need to Say)” by John Mayer. This song basically repeats the title lyric ad nauseam, making it clear to the listener that John Mayer can’t say what he needs to say, at least not in under three minutes. I also dislike “Live Your Life” by T.I. Featuring Rihanna, the pop/rap hit of 2009. But, as I said above, I’ll offer a breakdown of what I hate about rap music another day. Last year’s worst song was almost — almost — “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, a nomination which I feel totally bad about now, because I came to love that hippie ballad and it topped my best of 2010 list, and now holds a place in my all time favorites. “Fuck You,” by Cee Lo Green, appeared late in 2010, and took home my Most Hated award.

So, a few weeks ago “L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.” (yes, they actually spell out the words) by Noah and the Whale came on WFNX’s Now Music feature. I was disappointed and annoyed by this promising sounding song that, in my mind, flopped completely. At the moment I thought, well, I don’t have to worry about that one, it’ll never be a hit. But the song stuck with me for a couple days, and I developed a sinking feeling that this platitudinous piece of tripe would haunt me the entire summer. I actually didn’t hear the song for a couple weeks, and then WFNX released their Clambake concert lineup. Noah and the Whale will be performing, and now I get to hear the “L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.” refrain on EVERY commercial break. (I listen to WFNX *almost* exclusively.) So, thanks for ruining my summer, WFNX. There is now no doubt in my mind that this song (I’m not going to type the name again) will be my most hated of 2011.

Comment below with your picks for most hated songs.