Saved by Kelly Kapowski and Jessie Spano

Since Lisa Turtle did nothing for me, the question of who to crush on when Saved by the Bell was on always came down to Kelly vs. Jessie (although I liked Tori of “The Tori Paradox” fame more than either of them, and liked the two girls from The College Years even more than her). Both of them were cute. But both of them also seemed like the kind of girls who were completely unobtainable. Kelly was too cute, the kind of cute that eventually turns into hot, and, if you were a geek, you just knew she was out of your league. Jessie, on the other hand, was too smart, and too friendly. She was the kind of girl I would have been friends with in high school (though only at the end, since I didn’t come out of my shell until then), and who I would have then developed a crush for, a crush I would only confess by means of a creepy letter that would eventually cause her to stop talking to me altogether (I never meant them to be creepy—they just turned out that way) .

So, yeah, I kinda didn’t know who to pick. But then Elizabeth Berkley went and did Showgirls, with that whole “I’m having a seizure” sex scene in the pool, and I was in love. Nothing that Tiffani Amber did could possible top that.

How about you guys (and gals)? Were you a Kelly person or a Jessie person? And did you or did you not find the Jessie Spano Caffeine Pill Freakout to be absolutely riveting television?