Can’t Not Shut Up

The day began with the interesting discovery that someone had stolen our credit card information and signed up for a monthly subscription to a porn site ( with an AOL address I’d never heard of. The interesting thing is, that was the only charge they made. You’d figure if they stole our card they’d at least go on a fucking shopping spree or something obvious, but no… All this guy did was sign up for porn.

The day just got more interesting from there.

Adobe Photoshop was acting up on me all damn morning as I tried to create graphics for upcoming e-mailings. Whenever I tried to insert text into an image above a certain point size the text decided to lose all sense of alignment and just look plain funny. It took me ages to trick the program into working with me and it left me feeling like I’d accomplished even less with this week of work than I actually have.

Midway through the day my 58 lbs of books arrived via UPS. I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but I ordered the printing of a heap more copies of my book this past week and you all, as my readers and my friends, are going to help me sell them all so I can break even on this little business venture of mine. If you’ve already bought it, great. Go tell a friend to buy it, or two or ten. If you haven’t bought it, head on over to and buy a copy now.

And next month when I go to read at the Crescent Dragon Gallery and Cafe in Haverhill, as I’ve been doing every month for the past three months, you simply must come if you’re anywhere in the area. I need support. Tonight I was outnumbered and overwhelmed by a gaggle of preteens who were inspiring and good, but intimidating nonetheless.

The show tonight was hosted by a couple of oral storytellers who were great and then a good portion of the night was taken up by kids who I believe attend these storytellers readings elsewhere on a regular basis. It was quite refreshing and inspiring, but I missed the adult writers who I’d bonded with the last couple of times. I felt as though my little literary home had been taken away from me.

If any of you out there have any suggestions for where I might read other than this place, let me know. I’m looking to get this promotion machine going full-swing now that I’ve figured out how to balance life and work.

You can even help the promotion machine out by [SHAMELESS PLUG]buying a copy of the book[/SHAMELESS PLUG].

And, you can help my ego by starting another commenting frenzy like you did yesterday. What do you say we talk about your favorite ChrisClark moment. Since this is my page and I’m in a self-indulgent kind of mood, I want to hear what you think.

(And now you’re obligated to reply, because if nobody replies I’m going to be very sad, because that will mean nobody has any good memories of me.)

I am so manipulative tonight.

And I can’t shut up.