Our First Days Apart

The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.


At lunch on the day after the most exciting day of my Junior year of college, I was pulled aside by Amanda and Robyn, who were wondering if I had come to the bottom of the whole secret admirer business. I had, I told them, and it was then that they dragged me up to Robyn’s second floor dorm room and had me spill the beans.

When I explained that Louann had been the first secret admirer, that she had been coaxed into it since New Year’s when Rachael had been putting ideas into her head, there wasn’t much surprise. I think that fact was already known. When I told them that the second secret admirer’s note was not a joke after all, that it was in fact Stephanie, both Amanda and Robyn were surprised and elated.

I finally did get down to have lunch, though I probably had it alone, as I was avoiding Stephanie because I didn’t know what to say. The rest of the afternoon went by and it began to rain outside. When I finally had to come back to the Cluster House later that night, I took the long way around the back of the Clusters because I wanted to avoid seeing Stef, who was studying in one of the rooms on the lower level.

It was silly, but I just didn’t know what to do. She had shocked the pants off me with her proclamation and it would be a couple of days before I really figured out what to do.