I think about liposuction every once in a while. I think about liposuction every once in a while because no matter how hard I work out and no matter how healthy I eat, I still wake up every morning as an ugly fucking fatass. Sure, I may not be as heavy as I was at the end of my senior year in college, when I was just fucking disgusting. Sure, I may not be that big, but I am still overweight. I have been overweight my entire life and I am sick of it.

I have visions, every once in a while, of taking a knife, saw, or other bladed object and just tearing the fat off of me. I’m serious. I used to imagine what it would be like to just cut it all off like I cut the fat off a piece of steak. Being even slightly overweight sucks. I can’t stand it. If there was one thing I could change in my life right now, that would be it.

Actually, I would rather change my financial situation instead, because if I won the lottery I could then pay for the lipo and all would be good.

It was just another day at work and another afternoon of working out and then an evening of cooking dinner that wasn’t altogether great. We watched American Idol and West Wing and now it’s time for bed. I’m sure I’ll dream of what I might look like if only my body would cooperate with me, and I’ll wish you could all see me like that some day in reality.