On the way home from work today I plunked down a buck for Mega Millions lottery ticket, my chance at thirty-six million dollars. The lottery is my one little gambling indulgence, and since I play it all in good fun, I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t ever expect to win, but we all know that I’ve certainly talked enough about how the life I want can only be gained by me winning the lotto. That’s lead me to think about just what I would do if my numbers came up.
- Invest: I’d put a significant portion of the money away into investments and then live off the interest. I’d never want to blow more than 25-30% of the what I got.
- A House: I don’t know whether I’d buy a house in Hawaii or one somewhere here in New England, but one thing is for sure — my house would be on the ocean. It’s the attribute I want most in a permanent dwelling
- A New Car: It’s not that I don’t love my red ‘92 Pontiac Grand Am. I do. I would just love something new and really spiffy. I don’t know what. It wouldn’t be too extravagant. I’d want something practical because I’d never be one of those guys on MTV Cribs with like six rides.
- Lipo: Because I’m fucking sick of working out and still having man-tits, I’d schedule myself a visit with the plastic surgeon and get rid of all the flab. Then, I’d hire myself a personal trainer/nutritionist and make sure I didn’t gain it all back.
- A Printing Press: I’d buy a house with a barn or something and then buy a printing press to put in that barn. I’d print my own books there and books for other starving artists. It’d be great.
Those are just a couple of things I would invest in. I’d stop working a full-time job if the jackpot was big enough, of course. I’d get extravagant birthday gifts for all my friends for a year or two. I mean, come on… It would be awesome if I won the lottery.
I’d ask you to all cross your fingers, but by the time most of you read this the numbers will already have been drawn.