There are rifts that cannot be closed. I see one opening up in front of me this day, one that has widened from the tinest crack to a gaping fissure and now to canyon that might never again be crossed. The family which I married into finds itself in a precarious position and I can do nothing but sit back and watch people cry as I try to remind myself that somehow, some way, this is still my vacation.
The tension within the walls where I am currently holed up is the reason I had always thought I would never marry someone with divorced parents. I didn’t want to become that intimately involved with a fractured and broken family unit. I figured the influence of that type of environment would filter down into my own family, when I started one, and cause my own relationships to break down and decay with the sickness that a broken family can spread.
My parents, for better or worse, never split when it seemed to me that they might all those nights when I woke up as a kid to the sound of them screaming at each other. They eventually worked it out, found a way to live with each other. They made it work.
Well whatever… It’s not my place in this space to criticize the way my in-laws treat each other. It’s not my place to speak about these matters even as much as I have, but as these events have occupied so much of my evening, it is my place to relate to you how it has affected me.
The early portion of the day was a far cry from the melodrama that is currently seeping into every molecule of this home. I stuck around here with Stef’s brother Alex while Stef and Anisa went off to a baby shower. Eventually Alex, who has his driver’s permit, convinced me to be the over-age driver to accompany him and Artemis (Stef’s mom’s boyfriend’s son) to the Maine Mall so they could blow some money at an arcade. I agreed and we went.
It was weird to be the responsible party for a novice driver. Alex drove well though and I couldn’t really tell you anything he did wrong. We had fun at the arcade, where Alex and Artem played DDR (Dance Dance Revolution), a game I can’t even begin to explain. Perhaps Erik will come by and explain it for me. I have a feeling he’d do a better job.
We came back here and eventually Alex and Artem and Artem’s brother Sam had band practice with a couple of other friends from school. It was interesting to watch them and it brought back memories of Soma’s hey-day, though this band was just 100 times better than we ever were. Most of them are future music majors and it showed. They could play their instruments and they played well together and all in all, I was blown away. I wished I’d had the opportunity to get up and jam a bit with them.
After band practice and dinner, the topic of tomorrow’s adventure out with Steve and Lesley came up and there was some discussion here and on the phone about what to do. I’m getting into this when I said I wouldn’t… All I’ll say is that some people are of the opinion that other people are being very inconsiderate and it’s just been a horrible scene here tonight.
I can’t wait till Tuesday when my vacation will fucking begin for real.