I’ve written fifteen entries for the year 1997 over the past three days. I think I might have finally found a rhythm with this project. I come home and work out four days a week and immediately after my workout I sit down to type. That was my novel idea and it has worked. It has worked like a charm. I don’t feel inhibited or blocked. I feel good and the negative thoughts stay away and that enables me to get the shit done.
The really interesting thing about writing about your life in the way that I am is that you get to discover things. In looking back on what’s gone down before, I am able to see patterns, see how life developed. I see where my anxieties have come from. I see the events that affected me in a new light. I see that it all leads somewhere and it generally leads somewhere good.
I would think, being a cynical bastard, that it’s just me turning my mundane life into a story by highlighting events here and leaving shit out there. But really, it’s not like that at all. I’m writing down everything I can remember and as I’m doing it, the story of my life as it happened just seems to flow. One thing leads to another… I think I’ve said that already, but it’s true.
As I work my way backwards through 97, I am getting to relive one of the darkest periods of my life. I lost a good friend because I had a stupid crush. I lost my virginity to a girl I didn’t love. I lost my band to infighting and lack of a cohesive vision. From that cold February day when Nydia took what I shouldn’t have given to the day in December when I saw my “first true love” for the first time in years and finally found a way to get over her, 1997 was a year of discovery and I guess that’s why I’m enjoying writing about it so much.