Slow Agony

The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.


After the cold weather and cold shoulders of Spring Day the remainder of the semester was slow agony. I had my friends who had always been my friends — Rachael and Russel — but even that was rough because Rachael wasn’t planning on coming back in the fall and their relationship was faltering, which in turn meant strained ties between all of us. There were only a couple of bright spots.

  • Amy, who I had become somewhat good friends with in the latter half of sophomore year… She took me along to a couple of concerts. Once we went to Merrimack and saw The Verve Pipe (riding high on their single, “The Freshmen”), and Letters To Cleo. Another time we drove into Boston and saw the WBCN Battle of the Bands. Amy was nice to me and seemed to not mind hanging out with me. She was graduating though and these few experiences would be the last time I would see her except for a random meeting or two at various Newbury Comics locations where she worked over the next two years. Amy always used to regale me with stories about her relationship with Christopher, the lead singer of Stabbing Westward, and I never minded.
  • Classes were nearing their finish and I hadn’t done all that bad. Despite my romantic mishaps I’d managed to keep my shit together enough to pass all my classes. That, at least, was a small accomplishment.
  • A house for next year… At some point during the housing process that semester, Russel and I were invited to join a Cluster House that was being formed by a couple of girls I sort of knew [Stacey, Stephanie, and Angela] and my friend Jimmy as well. Even if I felt ostracized by the whole Heather T. debacle, at least I knew I had a place to come back to in the fall.

And that was basically it. Those were the things that made the end of the semester bearable. Oh, and there was the fact that I was going to be acting again, in a film this time.