A Talk About Death

The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.

This was the last of three entries I kept in an electronic journal on my computer in the immediate aftermath of Stephanie and I beginning our relationship. This one, dated 22 June 1998, was written in the wee hours of the morning following a weekend with Stephanie. I was about to read and then go to bed, but I stopped for a second to praise the woman I was coming to love:

Got to go read/go to bed, but just a few quick thoughts before I go do that…

Stef and I talked about my thanatophobia tonight after what was, for the most part an amazing weekend… and we were talking bout spirituality and stuff like that, and I was really trying to let her understand what I felt, and she was sort of helping me out… and you know, I think I’ve always wanted to believe, but with all the stuff that I’ve been through, especially being brought up to trust no one and nothing… its very hard… i feel like shes helping me take the first couple steps… and I am eternally grateful for that… and its just one more reason that I am the luckiest fuck on earth to have had this woman walk into my life… Stephanie Woodsum is one of the best things to have ever happened to me in my life so far… i love her dearly for all that she is, and for all that she is helping to bring out in me… good night….