Relationships Without Work

The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.


The arrival of the Internet at Bradford brought about an interesting couple of months where people who couldn’t find love or sex on campus went looking for it on the web. To boot, there were folks who liked to fuck around with the lonely folks who were looking for love. People would log into chatrooms under assumed names, sometimes of the opposite sex, just to fuck with friends or acquaintances or other people across the room.

Looking for love on the Internet is really a ridiculous proposition. You can be whoever you want to be on the net and so can everyone else. The trouble with building a relationship with someone you meet online in a chatroom is that there is no trust there. There is no trust from the beginning. This was especially true back then. People couldn’t get what they wanted by being who they were so they went into chatrooms and pretended they were someone else.

I was one of those people looking for love but I also enjoyed occasionally fucking around with people. I’d been tricked into sexual conversations by ex-girlfriends and acquaintances and I did some tricking myself. It was all in good fun. At least I wasn’t taking myself too seriously.

But then I did take myself too seriously with one of the girls I met. That’s when trouble started brewing.