Birthday Bird Droppings

The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.

Of the four birthdays I celebrated at Bradford, the one I celebrated my sophomore year was the absolute worst. It began the night before and it continued throughout the actual day and really, most of the time I’d like to forget the day ever happened. For the purposes of this journal though, I find it ridiculous to omit the details of this most horrible day.

I was lonely and single on the night before my birthday. Rachael and Russel were sick of hearing about it and in a sort of teasing manner, they invited Carol (who had been in our house freshman year) over to stay the night. Carol was kind of cute on occasion but her personality was annoying at times and she and I didn’t click at all. They invited her over and she was supposed to sleep in my bed with me but I eventually ended up sleeping on the floor because I felt so uncomfortable.

I slept on the floor on the eve of my own birthday! Oh, but it gets worse.

We got up on the morning of my birthday and went to Friendly’s for breakfast. I think this one was in Plaistow, NH or somewhere around there. I wore a hat. I didn’t usually wear a hat but we wanted to get out of the house early so I wore a hat.

Breakfast was fine but when we got back to campus and Rachael and I took off to check our mail, that’s when the shit really hit the fan. Or rather, that’s when the shit hit my head. On our way out of the campus center, a bird took a dump on the brim of my hat.


I ripped my hat off and threw it halfway across the lawn towards the parking lot. I was ripshit and if I remember correctly, Rachael was laughing. I can’t say that I blame her now as I look back on it, but at the time I wasn’t in the mood. I think I eventually grabbed my hat and we went back to the Cluster.

Later that day I did end up showering and going home and we had a little party at my parents house. They took a picture of John and I with our backs to the camera and it looked as though we were having a long-hair contest.

If anything else happened that day, I don’t remember it. The bird crapping on my head has pretty much obscured the rest of the day.