Crushes On Girls At Purity

The following reflection was written in 2003, when I was between 25 and 26 years old.

I had a lot of crushes on girls I worked with at the Purity in Plaistow, NH. I never did anything about any of them. Maybe it was because I’d had such bad luck with Sarah, the one girl I’d pursued through work in the years before. Who knows? I know that it didn’t have anything to do with being hung up on Tracy or on Tammy, who I’d decided I liked for a spell at the end of freshman year at Bradford. I was willing to go out with anyone that would have me, so I don’t know why I never approached any of the girls I worked with.

I don’t recall any of them in particular. There were girls of all different hair colors, all different ages, and most of them were pretty… Well, at least the ones around my age. I was a single guy, desperate for some sort of relationship and I imagined myself together with just about every one of them, the ones my age that is.

There was even an occasional dose of flirtation. I don’t think the girls were ever interested in me but they’d tease me and talk to me the way that girls always had in the past couple of years. In my mind at the time I’d elevate that innocent flirtation to something else, but I think deep down inside I knew I never stood a chance with any of them.