National Lampoon’s Speedwrite Vacation

Apparently my body and my mind decided to stop communicating today and see what kind of new and interesting ways I could figure out to hurt myself. As if the muscle I’d strained in my arm last week wasn’t enough, today I managed to cause damage to my right ankle and my big old nose as well. It was not a banner day for the Clark’s motor skills.

It all began with a bang this morning when, as I was trying to get a recording cable from a box on the top shelf of a closet, my old computer keyboard toppled down and landed on the bone right above my ankle. I screamed in the early morning hour and tossed the keyboard across the room, but after a few minutes of agony it seemed to go away.

Oh, how awfully wrong that assumption would be.

I spent most of the morning recording songs from old audio cassettes to MP3 using my laptop, while I ripped albums I had on CD on the computer here in the office. When I got sick of the prolonged process of recording songs from tapes, I showered and went out to do some shopping.

I was in dire need of The Ataris’ album So Long Astoria, or whatever it’s called, and I drove to Newbury Comics and then Best Buy to get it. In addition to their killer original, “In This Diary” there is an amazingly cool cover of Don Henley’s “Boys of Summer.” They substitute my favorite lyric of all time, “...Out on the road today, I saw a Dead-head sticker on a Cadillac…” with the “...I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac…” and it’s just fucking brilliant.

There was grocery shopping to be done and this is where the second mishap of the day took place. As I was backing into a spot, I turned to my head to the left to make sure I’d parked in an actual parking space and I ended up slamming my nose right into my half-open window. Usually my window is fully open, you see. This was most unexpected. Though the pain would come and go for the rest of the day, it hurt the most right then and there and it seems to be okay now.

A third and minor mishap took place as I was bringing the groceries in. My arm, which I believe had mostly healed after last week’s strain, felt injured again. There is certainly no way I’m getting to exercize this week now. I am a fucking mess.

I believe this is all the will of God and/or the Fates who were pissed off at me for not hanging out with Jimmy yesterday. That is definitely what it was.