Incoherent

I work one job and then I come home and I work another job. This webpage and my writing and all of the silly projects I conceive, they are a second job. I am that devoted to these things. When I set out to capture the entirety of my life in this journal I had no idea how rewarding it would be. I had no idea that revisiting the demons of my past would allow me to look upon the future with new eyes.

It makes the present unbearable though. What I wouldn’t give to be able to work all day long on my writing, on this webpage, on my silly projects. There is almost nothing I couldn’t do without.

What’s been making it hard these past couple of days is that I have so many things I want to do with my evenings that I have no energy left for the rest of the day. As unbearable as working a “regular” job has been, I’ve always found the energy to do it well in the past. Now I’m finding that more difficult. So much of my time and my mind is focused on the things I do outside of work that the things I do while I’m at work are suffering. And, as much as I’d like to be able to leave and work solely for myself, I still need a regular paycheck.

On the plus side, I’ve come up with a brilliant new web-related project which will take very little time to implement and should drive traffic to this site and more importantly, to the book site. The people at work who have discussed it with me are saying it sounds so interesting that they would pass it around to their friends. This could be big. Once I’ve got it more defined, I’ll make an announcement.