Absolutely Wretched

I had an absolutely wretched day at work today. I find myself hesitating to get into it here. I’m not sure why that is. Sufficed to say, I am not having a good time there right now and I’m not sure how many people actually want me there. It’s crazy to think of how well every other aspect of my life is going and then the fucking job is causing problems. What do you do about that when the money the job brings in is what allows you to partake in all the other comforts of your life?

That’s why I feel trapped, you know. I couldn’t exist without my job because it pays for the gym and it pays for my diet. It keeps a roof over my head and allows me to go to school. If I didn’t have the paycheck I’d have to give up the other things that are making me happy. It’s a vicious cycle. You must endure the unhappiness? How fair is that?

I know there are others worse off than me. Please don’t give me that argument. It doesn’t make any difference.

And, the last couple of days I’ve gotten very little work done on my story — which needs to be sent out by the middle of next week. I got great comments back from two of my peers but I haven’t been able to synthesize them and come up with a new draft yet. Staying up late on Monday night to watch the football game has thrown me out of whack this week. I can only hope I get back on track tomorrow morning. We’ll see.