Make It There

I mailed off my final submission packet for the semester this morning and I had hoped that it would immediately relieve the tension that’s taken up residence in my chest and gut over the past month. It did not. The aches came in around lunchtime, as per usual. Lunch and exercise took my mind off of it for little bits at a time, but they were really little bits of time. Maybe the thing is that I still have a lot of work to do. Even though I’ve finished my final submission, I still have work to do to prepare for the next residency at the start of January.

I also have not even started my Christmas shopping. I have not written a Christmas list for myself. And, Christmas is a mere fifteen days away. This, my friends, is not good.

You see, I knew Stef and I would probably get occupied by our schoolwork this year but I never thought it would be this bad. It’s like the whole rest of the world has melted away in the span of days and weeks since Thanksgiving. We’ve not made it to planned gatherings at my parents’ house. We’ve had a hard time planning holiday events with friends. It’s been fucking crazy.

In the end I think it will all be worth it. My MFA is something I’ve wanted since finishing my undergraduate work at Bradford. I knew I wasn’t done. In the end, that prize, that accomplishment, will be worth all this stress.

I just hope I make it there.