Bad Writing

Today was a challenge because it was my first “bad” writing day. When my two hours were up this morning I wasn’t feeling good about what I’d written. I thought I’d produced nothing of value. It was becoming very easy to see the negative side of things. I did try hard throughout the rest of the day to maintain a positive demeanor and I’m happy to say that I was mostly successful, at least on the outside. My goal now is to really believe the positive thoughts that I am forcing upon myself on a daily basis.

I’m sure that the writing will read better tomorrow than it did today. It almost always does. In fact, I’m not quite sure what I felt was wrong with what I wrote. I just know that I wasn’t happy with where it was. I was slipping into those old habits, expecting that everything would be perfect the first time I wrote it. Generally, this hasn’t been the first time I’ve written anything with this story. Most of the stuff has been revised many times. But the scene I was writing this morning was new. I couldn’t expect it to be perfect the first time out, even if I had run it through in my brain a million times.

I’m liking skipping the gym this week. The chest pains/heartburn I’ve been experiencing almost every afternoon were not as bad today and I’m beginning to figure that a lot of this rundown feeling I’m experiencing is a delayed reaction to the stress of last week. I’ll be fine to start exercising again next week but for now I’m enjoying the time to relax a bit and get some more reading done. Avoidance continues to be both an enjoyable read and a valuable education in how it is actually done.