American Telephone and Telegraph

So, check this out: I needed to cancel the long distance plan we had on our old land-line phone. I tried over the weekend but they were closed when I called and the annoying computerized woman told me I needed to call back between 7 AM and 10 PM Monday through Friday. Okay, that shouldn’t be too hard, right? So, I decide to call after 9 PM to take advantage of my unlimited night minutes and that’s when the fit starts to hit the shan, if you know what I’m talking about.

I have an hour to get my shit canceled and they keep me on the phone for forty-five minutes before someone gets on to help me out. During that forty-five minutes I am treated to a fifteen-second loop of elevator music, punctuated every ninety seconds or so by the same three AT&T ads, played in sequence over and over and over. After ten minutes of this I am swearing at the phone and yelling, hoping that someone can hear me through the hold music.

Eventually, a dude picks up and I want to start screaming at him. I have the desire to tell him how fat his mama is and all that wonderful stuff. I know that this will get me disconnected, though, and I can’t afford that since A) They’re about to close and B) I might get homicidal if I have to sit through any more of their damned hold music.

I got it done, though. This is what’s important. It left me frustrated, though. Now I have to go to bed, with my normal frustration about having to go to work tomorrow compounded by the agony that AT&T just put me through, and it’s just not going to be pleasant. I promise you, it’s not.