Lack of Energy

I listened to The Cars CD that I bought over the weekend while doing my driving to and from work today. I said to Stef this weekend that The Cars are one of those bands you forgot you loved. In listening to these tracks, I am amazed by how many hits they had for a band that only put out four albums or so. Good music is what makes going to work each day tolerable. I’m too busy singing along to notice that I’m moving ever closer to my impending doom.

The stress of work and of all the reading and writing I have to do continues to bog me down, so much so that I fell asleep on the couch tonight before dinner, before Stef got home. When she got home, my sleepiness infected her and we were both passed out because we are both so stressed out and then I got pissed off because one of us had to get up and fix dinner or we’d both starve. Of course, the one to get up was me.

It really scares me how little energy she and I have to do anything but the same old rigamarole each day. I said to her, during our spat, that the reason God hasn’t granted us any children is because we couldn’t handle it. We don’t have the energy to handle it. And I fear we never will.

Is it that we try to do too much with our lives? Is it wrong to have ambitions such as those that course through our bodies? Who the fuck knows?