“I Can’t. I’m on a diet”

I hate the phrase, “I’m on a diet” more than anything in the world right now. I think people who say, “I can’t. I’m on a diet.” are full of shit. We’re all on a diet. Some people’s diets consist of nothing more than cheeseburgers and French fries. Yours may entail not eating cookies but don’t say “I can’t. I’m on a diet” as if in three months you’ll suddenly be able to eat a fucking dozen. Losing weight and keeping fit… These are lifestyle change, PERMANENT lifestyle changes. You can have one cookie if you’re trying to lose weight. You just can’t have three or four.

The big deal here is that I overheard someone using that excuse the other day when someone offered them some cookies. Now I don’t think the person I overheard is necessarily full of shit. I also don’t think she’s necessarily in need of a diet. Whatever. The big deal is that I just can’t stand that phrase. People throw it around and it pisses me off.

There are two rules for losing weight and keeping fit and happy as far as I am concerned. The first rule is: EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. The second rule is EXERCISE EVERY DAY. The first rule I think speaks for itself. You can have a little cookie every once in a while as long as you aren’t woofing down a whole bag and as long as you’re not planning on making that all you eat. The second rule needs a little explaining. I know that most people would say to exercise every other day and that’s fine. You shouldn’t be lifting weights every day. Your muscles need time to rest. But you should be doing something that constitutes as physical activity every day, even if it is just walking your damn dog. Most of us sit behind desks all day and sit behind the wheel driving home and then sit in front of the TV eating…

See how much sitting we’re all doing? Remember that first rule. Sitting is okay if it’s not the only thing you do.

My Auntie Donna died a very heavy woman. I think she bought into the Goddamned weight loss culture in this country, trying all of the various “Lean” or “Watch your Weight” food lines. She had an exercise bike for a while. She… she had a lot of problems and her weight wasn’t the biggest of them. I am having a really hard time talking about this…

Basically, I feel like my Aunt got sucked in by this whole culture that’s developed where overweight people who are desperate for some miracle cure to their condition stick all their money into any bogus piece of shit offer that comes their way. They can’t help it. They want to be thin. But the very nature of them being big in the first place is that they are lazy. They don’t want to do work to be thin. They want to be lazy and sit on the couch and have some shake or some pill melt all their cellulite away.

It doesn’t work that way folks.

Losing weight is work. It is hard fucking work. I’ve done it. I haven’t lost all the weight I need to lose but I have lost quite a bit. I have about twenty pounds left to go. There was a period of time where people at work and at family gatherings asked me how I did it. The answer was simple. I worked hard over a long period of time and dealt with the fact that losing weight was hard and a lifelong commitment and well…

I stopped eating five cookies with my lunch. I brought an apple to work to snack on in the afternoon instead of buying something from the vending machine. I stopped drinking soda during the day and drank water instead. I walked to work instead of taking the subway.

My wife is trying to deal with the weight loss thing right now and the way that I did it… it doesn’t seem to work for her. I don’t know. I don’t know why she’s not losing weight. But she has a tendency to fall for these stupid pills and shakes and shit too. It worries me. I don’t want her to go the way others in my family have gone. I love her too much to see that happen.

She’s started Jazzercise recently which I think is awesome. This is the first time in quite a while that she’s found an exercise or physical thing that she enjoys doing that… I don’t know. I have a really good feeling about her and Jazzercise. I think this winter has been a rough one for her but she’s coming out of it.

Anyway, I just really hate that phrase.