What’s a Bop Anyway?

Okay, does anyone actually know who put the bop in the bop-she-bop she-bop? Cause I would really like to know. Why is it that pop songs leave such unanswerable questions in our brain. I mean, way back when, they asked, “Who wrote the book of love?” and you know what… I’ve listened to that song a million times and they still haven’t answered it.

It’s not like it’s a phenomenon limited to only fifties music either kids. I mean, it was the mid-80s when Madonna asked, “Who’s That Girl?” Does anybody know who that girl was? Was it Madonna? Was it Sandra Bernhard? Was it Nancy Reagan?

Should I care?

I probably shouldn’t, but in some strange way, I do. I am a pop culture whore, a fountain of useless information and when I come across a song that asks a question, I like to know the answer. If the song doesn’t give the answer, then I like to find the answer. I really enjoy being the guy at the party who can pull some obscure bit of trivia out of his ass to amuse everyone.

Robert Smith asks, “Why Can’t I Be You?” Why can’t you Robert? I’m not that cool a guy. You just need to get yourself a bad haircut (well, a different bad hair cut) and shrink your penis, and write really inane webjournals. Then you can be me.

Lennon and McCartney tell me, “You’ve got to hide your love away” but if I recall correctly, they don’t ever tell me where to put it.

Christ I’m confused.