Silence

Getting through the day has been a lot easier these last couple of days and that’s really good, but also really weird. It feels almost as if I was able to flip a switch and feel better. Sure, I still have my moments. But, I’m able to keep the demons in check. I’m able to battle negative thoughts with positive ones. Somehow, something has changed in me over the last week and a half. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m glad. I’m very glad.

One thing that makes me sad, though, is how long it’s been since I’ve seen so many of my friends, especially the ones it isn’t too hard to get to. Jimmy and I saw each other ages ago and I thought we were going to make it a monthly thing, but life’s gotten in the way. JonMartin and I mostly see each other on nights when I’m going to get my haircut. I haven’t seen Tori and Dan since we thought that we were moving to Maine. I wonder if they are upset because we’re not moving up there anymore.

There are loads of others, too, who are further away. And Jesus, then there’s Stacey, Monica, Erik, and Kerry who live within twenty or thirty minutes of here, who we never see. What’s wrong with us?

My last deadline for the semester is Saturday. Stef and I are doing the house hunting thing and I do have reading for the next residency to get done, but I should have more time. One thing I hope to do, though, is to be able to hang with friends a little bit more. I need to find a way to work in a little bit of socializing. If anything’s missing in my busy life right now, that’s what it is.

Today was a good day, though, and let’s leave on that note. It dragged on and it was way too cold in the office, but it was a good day.