Facing the Unknown

I just got back from Jon’s. We went to Target to buy him an electric razor and we discussed the screenplay we’re going to write together as well as his new love/like interest. I pet his cat, even though I’m allergic and me petting cats is generally a very bad idea. It was great because for two hours or so I didn’t think once about the situation that is waiting for me when next the sun rises. You see, there is a very real possibility that come tomorrow at eleven in the morning, I may not have a job anymore.

The big boss is in town and he wants to have the same conversation I’ve had twice already with two other managers in the course of the past week. This is not good. He didn’t schedule the meeting. One of the people in the Boston office who I’ve worked with for two years did. I don’t think that’s particularly good either. The company is moving offices soon and nobody has been told where I am going. That is very not good at all.

Nothing, at least in terms of my working life, is certain beyond 10:30 AM tomorrow. To lay me off would be a huge mistake. I know it. The people I work with on a daily basis know it. The trouble is, I’m not sure if the puppeteers out in Ohio know it. It doesn’t really matter what the marionettes think about their fellow marionetts. It’s Gepetto that controls us little wooden boys. And if this Gepetto sees a way to cut some corners in this economy, then by God, he’s going to find a way.

There is no one else who can do my job right now. This isn’t my ego talking. This is the truth. There is no person in that office trained to do the things I do on a daily basis. To use an old term an old boss of my once used, I am not “bus proof.” That is to say, if I was run over by a bus tomorrow the company would be in a world of hurt.

Everything that goes onto our corporate internet and intranet sites goes through me. I am the living, breathing content management system. If they let me go the website will be out of date and decrepit looking in a matter of days.

I know what I will say to them if this situation arises tomorrow. I’ve planned it out, and maybe, just maybe, my argument will sway them. I am, as I always am, prepared for the worst. Unfortunately I am not prepared for anything else. I don’t know what I’ll say, or do, if they call me in and say, “Nice job Chris. We love what you’re doing. Keep it up.”

I guess I’ll just have to cross the bridge when I come to it. It’s all about facing the unknown, which we’ve established I’m not very good at. In this economy though, it’s something I ought to work on.