A Worser Fate

I think it started to become apparent to a number of people in the office how difficult a chore they had given me. Trying to train my replacement in basically three days on a set of processes that have taken me almost two years to perfect. I think that some people always knew, but now a lot more people realize, that what I was doing was more than just pushing buttons. There is a lot to it and I think the girl I’m training is starting to panic.

I don’t think that changes anything for the head of the company. If he had plans to fire me tomorrow, he will still move forward with those plans. I don’t think anything is going to sway him now. He doesn’t like me. He doesn’t like what I’ve done for his company lately. He doesn’t want to spend money on keeping me there.

I can remember a time, when I first started, during my interviews in particular, when that was all different. He seemed to think I had such great promise. He seems to form really great opinions of people really fast and then it’s almost impossible not to let him down. In that way, I guess, we’re a little alike.

Whatever the case, I’m working myself into new routines in preparation for the axe. I managed to get in a third day of walking tonight, but it turned out to be a little too much for my body and I ended up virtually crawling back to the house along the final stretch. Still, it’s good to be active again.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I wish I did. I wish it were all over, so I could move on. Now I’ve begun thinking that maybe I’m not going to get fired. And that’s starting to seem like a worser fate.