There was something oddly fitting about being let go from my company by a man I’d never even met. It was a sign of what has happened to yet another “little company that could.” There’s not a lot left of the business I started working at two years ago. The faces that brought me there are almost all gone and the faces that are still there after these two years are tired and frustrated. The people in charge of our fates are (or, in my case, were) good people. But they don’t know what we do and their responsibility is to fiscal reality not to ambitious aspirations. There wasn’t a lot left of the company I started working for two years ago when the sun rose today and as of 10:30 AM this morning there was even less. There was no more me.
I am very tired. It has been an exhausting day. I’m not sure if I have many more coherent thoughts for you. My eyes are heavy and my mind is coasting on fumes, in desperate need of some refueling.
They let me go and it was a big mistake. That’s the gist of it. I don’t say that out of some inflated ego or anything. It’s the truth. It’s what I’ve heard from every employee I’ve spoken to today, in between their attempts to pick up the pieces left behind by this decision.
The “big” guys now in charge of the fate of our little part of the business don’t know what we do. They’re still trying to figure it out and they’re trying to cut corners. In the past week I’ve had two meetings to discuss what I do and apparently the people I met with garnered from those discussions that they could easily blend my job functions into someone else’s. I don’t think that was a good assumption to make and I’m sure whoever has to start doing what I did on a daily basis in addition to what they already are responsible for will agree with me.
Anyway, I went into the meeting and by that point in the morning I had a pretty good idea what was coming. I handled myself in a professional manner and decided to make every effort to make the transition a smooth one, telling them the ways in which I would go beyond what was required of me to make the lives of my now former co-workers a little bit easier.
The trick now is, I have people whispering in my ear that I should think of myself first and foremost and stop thinking of the good of the company that just severed it’s ties with me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave anyone there in a lurch. They’ve relied on me for two years to get what they need up on the website. I don’t want to leave them in a lurch.
But isn’t that what they’ve just done to me?
I don’t know. I’m tired. Confused. The only positive thing I can think of right now is that I don’t have to go to work on Monday. And, in the short term at least, I’ll have a lot more time to write.