Anxiety

I’m having a hard time processing in my brain how much work needs to be done on all fronts. I thought I had a really good organizational plan in place, but after a week it’s already kind of falling apart. I did get reading done today and I did get a great deal of thinking done on my latest writing, but I didn’t get any writing done or anything done on my job search. I did groceries, I ran an errand for Stef. I played a video game. Where, I find myself asking, are my priorities?

Yes, I’m already stressing out. Who wouldn’t be, though? There’s a lot to do and there’s this nagging question: Do I take advantage of the time off to catch up on school or do I get right to work on finding new work? I know what I want to do, but something inside of me is stopping me from really throwing myself into it.

I do really need a couple of days off, as people have suggested, but I feel guilty about taking them. A trip to the Cape or to a library in Boston or maybe an out-of-the-ordinary field trip to someplace further away. I’ve been thinking for months about how I want to travel further than I have before. Why not do that?

Anyway, I’m stressed and I need some sleep and maybe I’ll be more clear-headed tomorrow. I’m just glad that we bought these Smallville DVDs. Watching them in the evenings has really been a great stress-reliever.