The Snowball Effect

“The Snowball Effect”, a documentary on the making of Clerks found on the tenth anniversary DVD release of that film, is quite inspiring. It chronicles the journey of Kevin Smith from his youngest days until the sale of the film at Sundance in 1994 and speaks to the many times they were dead in the water before they finally found success. It’s a testament to stick-to-itivness and passion for a story. It’s exactly the kind of thing that I needed to see tonight.

We had run some errands for Stef this morning in preparation of her final presentation for her MEd on Friday. When we got home this afternoon, I ended up falling asleep on the couch while reading. I was in an uncomfortable position and I didn’t even sleep that well and when I woke up I was grouchy. I turned on the computer, logged onto Boston.com, and saw that Pedro was signing with the Mets. I was a little bit more grouchy.

Eventually, I simmered down. But, when dinner was over I could feel that sense of disappointment in myself mounting. I hadn’t really done anything today except read a chapter in a book that isn’t even one of the ones I’m required to read. I could sense that if I didn’t do something, I was going to be in a foul mood for the rest of the week.

So, I popped in the Clerks X DVD, the third disc of the set, and we sat and watched “The Snowball Effect”. It was great because I really do admire Kevin and even though he’s working in film and I’m working in fiction, I still get a sense of what I need to do from listening to his story. I need to stick to it. I need to tell my story. And most of all, I need to keep doing this writing thing because it’s what I love to do. It’s what I was meant to do.

So, when you’re feeling low, I guess you find something to take you out of that. For me, Kevin’s stuff and Kevin’s story helps to ease the pain of my insecurities. It may be strange, but that’s the way it is.