Frustration

It was a very frustrating Monday and I’m trying to shake this feeling that’s been building in me over the past twenty-four hours. I don’t want to be a grump on Christmas. I don’t want to be exhausted from fighting against my demons either. But it seems that elements of my life are conspiring against me. Or else, it’s just elements of my fractured, fragile psyche. Who knows? I’m talking gibberish.

The Pats are playing the Dolphins on Monday Night Football. It’s way closer than it should be, given the Dolphins 2-11 record this season. It seems like the Pats will pull it out, but I probably shouldn’t be watching, given my state of mind. I can feel the frustration flowing through me. I want that feeling to go away.

So, I spent most of the day working on this family movies DVD project I’m doing for Christmas. It’s coming out well, I think, but it takes a lot of time. There were precious few hours left over when that was done for me to get anything else accomplished. I went out Christmas shopping with what little daylight I had left and I succeeded only in wasting my time. I found no gifts and came home with no ideas.

I worked on the DVD project a little more and Stef came home and then I fought with this fucking laptop to get the wireless connection working so that I could type this while watching the game. It finally worked after I was distracted by it for the first three quarters.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sorry. I just want to scream. I’m glad I’m only working Tuesday and half of Wednesday. I really need the time off I’m about to get to get caught up on everything.