A Foul Mood
I’ve been in a foul mood all day. In fact, every time I approach my manuscript lately, my demeanor seems to take a sudden shift in the negative direction. I don’t think that’s a particularly good sign, considering that I’m supposed to be more invested in this beast than I’ve been in any piece of writing I’ve ever done.
I did finally finish the last few pages I need to get done in order to have a full draft of my thesis. The thesis, I should remind you, is not the whole novel. At any rate, I should be happy to have reached this milestone. Sadly, I am not.
I mostly just feel angry. It’s not that I hate what I’ve written, or that I hate myself, or that I hate anything. It’s not any of the usual suspects, so to speak. It’s just this boiling anger, this resentment of something, and I can’t quite peg what it’s resentment of.
And it doesn’t help that, on days like this, I let stupid shit bother me. For instance, the statistics found here (ED: Link no longer available). If you check out the “last visited” column, you’ll note that only a couple of members have been making regular visits since the site relaunched. This could, of course, be a case of people visiting but not logging in. I’m not sure how readers view this page, so that’s a definite possibility. But, after having put so much effort into it, I guess I had hoped that it would be getting more action.
On a normal day, though, I wouldn’t let that bother me. I keep up this website mostly for myself anyway. But, on days like this, when my mood is foul, everything bothers me.
So, let’s just hope tomorrow turns out better and that by Friday, the next time I have a chance to work on my manuscript, I’ll be ready to do so.