Mumbling

I didn’t get out of bed until 12:30 PM today and when I did get out of bed the first thing I did was accidentally drop a steak-knife on my toe. It bled a little bit but not much. And that was really the only negative thing that happened to me today. I did time with VideoFactory which is where I’m putting together a batch of music videos inspired by the album I put out a couple of years ago. I watched Jay and Silent Bob with the commentary track on. I worked on the Video some more. I became extraordinarily disturbed by the video, and then proud. And now I’m writing this.

JonMartin said on his page tonight that he thinks I could still get the job running the world that I’ve been after for years. Unfortunately I just watched the movie Thirteen Days, and aside from realizing how awful Kevin Costner’s Massachusetts accent is, I came to the conclusion that I could never rule the world. It’d be just too damn stressful. I think we should just leave the run of the world to the crazy dyslexic German Shepherd who put us all here.

I feel better today. I think not getting out of bed until lunchtime had something to do with that. I didn’t have time to work up any frustration with myself. And I didn’t even try to get anything done with my job search. I knew it would just depress me. I figured I’d just get back to it on Monday. Today I got up, grabbed some Sunkist orange soda and got to work creatively and decided to not give my shit about doing what I wanted to do.

My video is disturbing. It’s for a song I wrote about the comparison between the rise of Gods and rockstars. It’s all in black & white and half of it is me singing. That part’s not disturbing. The other half is the part that bothers me. It’s an amalgam of clips featuring a turtle dropping it’s eggs into a hole, bacteria dividing under a microscope, Kennedy being shot, people dancing in their underwear, and Christ being crucified. The theme is the ascent and descent of powerful figures and how regular people will just continue to dance through life unaware regardless of the changes around them.

I don’t know if it’ll make any sense but it will sure as hell bother you. It bothers me and I’m a pretty sick fuck.

This weekend I am going to try and relax and collect myself. I freaked out way too damn much after what happened yesterday and I need to be in a better frame of mind the next time I sit down to send out resumes. I also have a few classes next week through the career transition company my old employer has set me up with and I want to take full advantage of them. I don’t need to be walking in their all bitter and shit.

I am also going to try to get together with a host of people. On Sunday MaryAnn is coming over and we’re going to watch Wrestlemania. The jury’s still out on whether Stef is going to join us, though last night I did school her a bit on the Rock.

And I’m going to try and start writing something substantial again. Maybe I’ll pick another ex-girlfriend to write a five part part series on.