Page Count, Happiness, and Back Aches

My thesis page-count, including front-matter (title page, dedication, and the like) is now up to 176. With four chapters left to revise before next Friday, I am already at the page-count I thought I was going to end up with when I started this revision. I suppose this could be considered good or bad or just plain irrelevant. For me, I think its a good sign. You want a novel to have substance. My only previous attempt at the form was fairly rushed and insubstantial. Though by no means will this thesis be a completed novel, it will be a huge step towards one.

It’s hard to get down on yourself when you sit back and realize that during the past week and a half you have typed one hundred and seventy six pages of material into your computer, and not only that, but you also wrote a bunch of material longhand during the times when you weren’t typing, which contributed to that page count increase.

It’s hard to get down on yourself when you have a whole, thriving world of characters you get to visit each day, a cast of people you created, who are infinitely more complex than they were when you started out.

It’s hard to get down on yourself when you have a story that, while it’s been told a thousand times before, as most stories have, has never been told quite like this.

It’s hard so, being lazy, I won’t get down on myself. Tonight, I’ll just kick back and be happy that I got one step closer.

And tomorrow, when I finally open the packet from my advisor with feedback on those last four chapters, when I see that I have a shitload more work to do, then I’ll get down on myself.