His Sperm Was a Gift

Here’s a choice quote from an AP report out of Chicago, titled, Man Can Sue Woman For Sperm Theft Distress: “There’s a 5-year-old child here,” Mirabelli said Thursday. “Imagine how a child feels when your father says he feels emotionally damaged by your birth.”

This was originally from Metafilter, and I think the write-up there was pretty thorough, so I’m just going to quote it for you:

Another reason to practice safe sex? Man meets woman. Man has oral sex with woman. Woman keeps the sperm, uses it to impregnate herself, then sues for child support. Man counter-sues for emotional distress and “sperm theft”. Although the emotional distress claim is still active, the “sperm theft” claim was dismissed. On that point, the court decided: When plaintiff “delivered” his sperm, it was a gift—an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee… There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.

Did I mention I once had a nightmare that an ex-girlfriend, the one who dumped me two days after I gave her my virginity, had actually gotten pregnant during the affair (despite the fact that we used a condom and I lasted all of two seconds) and I had a little bastard out there? This kind of story is really creepy.