From the Creator of Blood Red

One of my favorite pasttimes involves going to the local bookstore and searching the racks for the place where my book would go if only I was published. They say writers write and David Crouse says that publishing is a totally seperate and mostly unfathomable business but I want to be published. I want to see my name on the spine of a book before I die, preferably before I’m thirty. I’m ambitious I know but that’s the way I feel that I have to be. This isn’t a pipe dream for me. This is an honest to God major life goal.

One of the reasons I’ve been pushing myself to get a job before my month’s notice was up is because I hoped that I could use some of the severance money to finally publish the book of short stories I’ve been talking about since forever ago. Now that my month’s notice is over and Stef and I will have to fall back on that money to simply exist on a day to day basis, my dream of self-publishing seems to be sailing off even further into the future.

Earlier this week I pledged to get outside for at least a portion of each day. I thought that was one of the big reasons I was having difficulty coping. When I was still working I would take my lunch to take a walk around Boston. I’ve gotten out of that habit since I’ve been unemployed. So I went outside today and I ended up at the bookstore and while I was there I didn’t actually do my search the shelves thing but I did think about how I usually did it and I thought it might be a good thing to talk about tonight.

My first self-publishing venture was when I was younger and I published a five issue comic book series called Blood Red. It wasn’t good but it was something and it really whet my appetite. The writing was fun but so was the actual process of putting it out, of getting into people’s hands. I loved promoting it. I tried to get people to buy every issue, promising that some day when I became famous they would have collector’s items.

I don’t see any reason why I couldn’t be successful as a self-publisher. I still have that drive and passion. My writing is definitely better than it was when I was twelve and thirteen and fourteen. I worked in the marketing department for close to a year so I definitely know how to promote myself better. I have a network too, people who can help me.

Not sure if I’m trying to convince you or myself.

Regardless, I think that self-publishing will be an eventual reality for me and not just a dream I keep putting off. As David has told me, the publishing business and completely seperate from the writing business and usually a completely non-understandable process. If no one can do it for you, you’ve gotta do it yourself. And I can’t fathom a future where I don’t try it at least once.

I’m not going to wait around forever for someone else to put my name on the spine of a book when I can do it myself.