Baby vs. Job - An Early Crisis

Stephanie faces a difficult decision in the coming weeks. She’s close to being offered a job in her field for the summer, teaching drama to kids at a day school south of here. Their program starts up right around the time that this IVF process will be ending for us. In fact, because of the IVF process, she’d have to miss a couple of their planning meetings. Apparently they’re okay with that, but she’s having a hard time deciding whether the stress from this new job will have a negative impact on all this work we’ve been doing.

Stress, it seems, is one of the major enemies of a couple trying to conceive through in-vitro fertilization. But I’ve been telling Stef that she should go for this job, that the positives outweigh the negatives. And here’s why.

If they offer this job and she accepts it, she’ll have the next two weeks to get her lesson plans together. She won’t have to focus on finding a summer job and she can use all of the time she has been devoting to that on writing lesson plans. This will also help distract her from the ordeal we’re going through.

In about two weeks we’ll be ready for the egg retrieval and the implantation. It should work out that she’ll have those procedures done, have a couple of days to rest in bed as suggested, and then be ready to start her new job. The most stressful part of the whole IVF process is what they call the two week wait, the time between when they implant the embryos and the day they do the first pregnancy test. During that two week wait she’ll be so occupied with her new job that she won’t have half the stress that other women have, especially considering its a job she knows she’s going to love.

In the end, it seems insane for her to pass this opportunity up. Not only will it bring money into our bank accounts, something we sorely need, but it will also help build her confidence that teaching the arts is something she can really do. I foresee nothing but positive energy coming out of this experience and I think that positive energy can only help our cause, not hurt it.

If the pregnancy fails, there’s nothing we can do. We’ll move on and try again. But I can’t imagine how hurt she would be if she didn’t take the job, in order that we would have a better chance at success, and then we went through all of this and it failed anyway. That would be terrible.

No. I think she should take the job. I don’t think there’s any question in my mind that’s what she should do.