I think there’s something wrong with me. You see, I’ve been sitting in the living room watching MTV2’s Most Controversial Videos and I don’t find any of the clips they’re showing even mildly controversial. Save for that Robbie Williams video where he strips down to the bone quite literally, none of the videos I’ve seen have grossed me out… None of them have offended my sensibilities… It’s quite disturbing really. Am I unoffendable?

The Robbie Williams clip actually solidified the concept I’ve been cooking up for a video for my song “Proposal.” I kept imagining this video where a gang of girls chased me down and beat the piss out of me while I sang the song and I finally figured out how it happens. I was so excited. I couldn’t believe watching a Robbie Williams video illicited creative thought.

You see, I’m tying this video into a video for a song that appears earlier on my album where an obcessed fan gets told off. In the video for “Proposal” the girl and her friends kidnap me and decide to take out all of their frustrations with men out on me. They tie me to a chair in the middle of like a get-together or a slumber party and they yell at me, punch me… just basically berate me as best they can with words and with fists.

There’s a giant instrumental in the middle of the song where I imagine a grand escape and then the gang of angry women chasing after me. As the instrumental section ends one of them catches up with me and finishes the job, killing me.

And then I don’t know how I end up singing the rest of the lyrics but maybe the girls sing them instead. I’m not sure.

I’m really determined to get videos together for all of the songs on my album so that I can release a compilation this summer. Half of the videos are already done and the half that remain require a larger cast and crew than just me, JonMartin, and John’s camera. But I will get them done. And this video is just one of my ideas.

Is it strange that I’m envisioning a project like this? Do you find it odd that I want to subject myself to this kind of thing all for the sake of an album that hardly anybody bought?

I… I don’t find it strange at all. Because… because when I get committed to a project… whether its writing a bestseller so I can move to Hawaii, or whether its making videos for an album I put out a year ago… when I commit to something, I really commit.

And I’m just wondering if I could come up with something for this Most Controversial Videos show that would actually shock me.