Street Cred for the Masshole

Honestly… first off… when was the last time you could, if you’re a sports-fan from Boston, hold your head up high and say all three of your teams that were playing on a given day all won? I was just reading a bit and saw that the Sox, the Celts, and the Bruins all won today. The Red Sox won twice! And we just won the fucking Superbowl this year. Is God smiling down upon New England? Well… sports aside, the answer would have to be no. We’ve got the clergy molesting children, banks being warned they’re gonna get blown up, and hell we somehow let a slew of terrorists onto planes going out of our airport last year… God may be smiling on our sports franchises but otherwise, being from New England isn’t exactly something to be proud of lately, is it?

That’s not really what I wanted to talk about today but Stef and I have been talking about it a little bit this weekend and I think it’s really interesting to look at it that way. Look at all the bad shit New Englanders are getting known for lately. I used to complain to myself that New England didn’t get enough attention in the news, that we weren’t respected as a legitimate part of this country. Anything north of New York City didn’t really count…

Truth be told, the expression, “any publicity is good publicity” can’t really be applied here. It is certainly not the case in this situation. If all we were in the news for was the Superbowl and Aerosmith getting awarded MTVIcon status then we’d be all set, but all these other things that are being attached to our region… they’re tarnishing us.

We don’t need any help okay?

When Stef and I were in Hawaii last year and we mentioned that we were from Massachusetts the first thing that came out of someone’s mouth was, “So, how’s the Big Dig?” Even before all the nonsense of this past year that’s what we were known for. Not our foundering sports teams or our wide-load senator with the big name. We were known for a poorly managed construction project that will probably never be done.

“Good grief!” I say.

I love my state and I love New England. Every day I find another reason to love it here. Tomorrow it might snow. That’s not really all that funny until you consider that last week it was near 90 and everyone was wearing shorts. All of our sports teams won today. My favorite band in the whole world is finally getting some much deserved props from the music biz.

Everything’s all good except for Catholic priests who feel the need to suck the dicks of altar boys and terrorists who thought that maybe FleetBank Boston, or whatever the fuck they’re calling themselves this week, might be a good target.

Oh brother…