Our Stubborn, Bouncing Baby

I hope that I will be forgiven, in the days to come, for the potentially nauseating display of fatherly pride which I am about to inflict upon you all. It’s a fact that murky ultrasound photographs of unborn children all look the same, at least to people other than the child’s parents and grandparents. And I think most parents know this. But that doesn’t stop them/us from flaunting these photographs about and showing them to anyone who will look, to anyone who isn’t smart enough to run away. It’s really an unforgivable offense, and I wish that I had an explanation for you that would make this odd behavior easier to understand, but I don’t. So you’ll just have to suffer.

Here, my friends, is my baby. You can click on the picture for an enlarged version.

It’s a profile shot. The baby’s head is near the center of the image and he/she is gazing off into the upper left-hand corner, obviously daydreaming and paying no attention to the frustrated ultrasound technician who is begging the child to stay still.

Of all the things that were going through my head as Stef and I sat in the darkened room this morning, the thought that visited me most was that this child was going to be difficult, that this child was going to have spunk and be a real character. And that thought made me smile again and again.

What gave me cause to label my child as a troublemaker even this early in its life? Well, the baby was bouncing all over the place when we first got started, as if its placenta was pumping in pure Jolt Cola. This was encouraging for us, of course, but the trouble was that the technician needed the baby to get into a specific position to take measurements and the baby was just not having any of that. The tech did, with great effort, eventually get two good shots where she was able to measure the child, but she’d been hoping for a third. Unfortunately for her, all that bouncing around tired out the little tyke and, as a final act of defiance, it went to sleep on its side, which was not the position required for the measurements, and just refused to wake up at all.

We walked out of there with a couple of pictures though, and a renewed sense of calm. The baby’s heart was still beating at a steady 158 BPM. And it didn’t appear to have horns or to be breathing fire. I thought I noticed it hiccuping, but what I saw was probably just part of its bouncing around. In any event, it was a most pleasant way to spend a Thursday morning, and though the rest of the day was almost a total loss thanks to my wandering thoughts, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.