Star Wars Week - Epilogue

Seeing Star Wars in a theater full of Star Wars fanatics is a totally different experience than seeing Star Wars in a theater full of regular people. I’m now happy to say I’ve lived through both experiences and cherish them equally. The fanatics are loud and boisterous. They cheer and applaud when Yoda enters and proves why he is a Jedi master. The normal people don’t make as much noise but they talk afterwards about how their favorite part was when the little green guy did battle with the old gray guy.

Earlier this afternoon Stacey, Brian, Monica, Stef, and I caught Episode II. They loved it. The normals in the audience loved it. They didn’t moan at the lines in the love story that me and my fellow geeks might have. They sat attentively, probably in much the same way they did when they were children watching the old trilogy and they had themselves a ball. It was great to see the film with a crowd that was there to have fun.

I did miss the crazyness and intensity of the fanatical crowd a bit. I hoped that the audience would cheer for Yoda as they had the previous two times I’d seen the film. They didn’t do that but they did afford me a different kind of movie experience. They let me see the movie without wondering what the person next to me or three rows behind me was thinking.

Tonight we were supposed to go to a Bradford College reunion and last night, had I ever gotten the directions from him, I was supposed to go to a concert by the band fronted by Larsen. I didn’t go to either and there’s a simple explanation.

I feel like shit.

Star Wars has gotten me through this week. Without it, I would’ve been swallowed up in my self-pity. I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking about my creative pursuits and I determined that the last thing I needed was to be in a room with all of my old friends who, even if they aren’t doing so, at least appear to me to be going after their dreams in a way that I am not. Whenever I go to any concert I feel a longing to create music again. This week, with the state I was in, going to see my good friend’s band probably would’ve made my trip home more melancholy than bearable… the feelings of inadequacy and longing magnified by the fact that the singer on stage was someone I knew.

Anyway, it’s been a rough week but the film has got me through it and I think I might come out the other side on Monday a much happier camper. We’ll see.