Week 14 - Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Dear Baby,

Outside the womb, this was a really rough week for your dad, with a lot time spent questioning his career choices and his purpose on the planet. There’s a great bit in the novel that I’ve been working on where a character loosely inspired by me is having a conversation with his father while commuting together one morning. When asked what’s bothering him, the pseudo-me answers that he is troubled by deep philosophical problems. The father laughs, wondering aloud how it is that his son has become so uptight and is taking himself so seriously. “Deep philosophical problems?” the father asks. “What, are you Plato? Aristotle? What deep philosophical problems do you have?”

Seriously, I should go back and read the passages in my novel where I’m making fun of myself every time I get the way I was this week. And I bring all of this up to you because I want you to learn how to laugh at yourself at an early age. I don’t want you to take yourself as seriously as I sometimes do, because, in the end, it really doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t do you any good.

Inside the womb, you were healthy as could be, as far as we could tell. Early in the week, we received the results of the tests that were run the week before. They indicated that you had an astronomically low chance of being born with any developmental disorders. The news couldn’t have been any better.

By this week, you were possessed of fully developed sex organs. And if you don’t know this by now, by the time you’re reading this, let me tell you: these organs, regardless of which set you ended up with, will undoubtedly cause you more trouble than their worth over the course of your lifetime. Enjoy them when you can, when the opportunity presents itself, but consider yourself forewarned that, in the end, they cause nothing but trouble, trouble, and more trouble. It’s best if you just keep them in your pants whenever possible.

Ahem, that being said, it’s also important to note that all of your major systems were in place by now, which meant that you could begin to grow at an exponentially faster rate. At this point you were about three inches long and weighed about an ounce and a half. But by the end of the month, you would triple in length and put on enough weight to reach the one pound plateau. Still small, yes. But remarkable nonetheless.

Love, Dad

LettersE. Christopher Clark