What To Say

I woke up on Thursday morning to the sad news that Jon’s father had died on Wednesday afternoon. I usually write the entry for the previous day when I get into work the following morning, pumping it out in the few minutes I have before my official nine o’clock start time. And I did have something in mind to write about, some little anecdote about how tired I’ve been because I haven’t had a day off in almost two weeks. But I can’t bring myself to write that entry now. It seems pretty trivial, pretty insignificant, especially in the face of this news.

JonMartin is one of my oldest and dearest friends in the world, someone I’ve known since high school. We’ve been through crap in our friendship that has sent many other people packing. But I haven’t called him yet, because I don’t know what to say. On Tuesday evening, we were at a Nine Inch Nails show, feeling just as we had eleven years before at the very first concert I’d ever been to, feeling young and alive and in good spirits. We’d had dinner at McDonalds, and made fun of the opening act at the concert. We’d been talking about getting a hold of Andy and doing something, like the old days. And then this.

I know that life will go on for my friend, that things will be better again, and that there are still many nights of mirth ahead of him, and ahead of us as friends. I’m pretty good with the mirth. But I’m not so good with this stuff. I guess what I’ll say, when I finally do call, is that I’m here if he needs me. It’s trite, but right now it’s all I have.