just another saturday night

Hey boys and girls. It’s another one of those Saturday nights when I don’t really have all that much to say. So here’s what I’m gonna do… I’m gonna give you an entry I wrote way back when and we’re all going to pretend that’s something really special, even though you could search through the archives for the very same entry. How’s that sound? We’ll make it a new feature. It’ll be called the Saturday Night Throwback, or Just Another Saturday Night… or something…

britney in gangbang auditions iv

Why is it that male pop culture icons are always organized into groups of five, whereas female pop culture icons are invariably loners? We have boy bands and divas. No girl bands. No Backstreet Girls. We have Christina, and Britney, and Whitney, and Madonna. Divas are such solitary creatures that most of them don’t even use their last names. Why is that?

I think it has something to do with sexual politics. Yeah. Sex. I know… its a long shot, but bear with me. I think that its a gender thing. I think that what the marketing and pr people at all these record companies are trying to tell us is that while it only takes one girl to satisfy a whole bunch of guys, it takes several guys to satisfy just one girl.

Do you see what I’m saying?

Britney is like the chick in Gangbang Auditions IX. She can take us all on. The Backstreet Boys are like the guys in the flick. It takes five of ‘em just to get one girl off. Its sick.

Its so very sick.

Pam could never be satisfied by Tommy alone. That’s why she did Bret, and whatsisname and all the rest of them…

I mean, it all comes down to which scenes turn you on more when the volume is low, the vaseline is out, and the sock is nearby. When you have two girls on one guy, does it honestly turn you on as much as when you have two guys on one girl?

I mean, this is why Traci Lords was a solo artist, and why she didn’t call up Marilyn Chambers and Christy Canyon and start a group.

Am I making any sense?

Did I just do two entries in a row? What the fuck happened? Am I finally back? Will we ever be able to write an email to our sweetie again with how we feel in the subject?