I have too many projects that I am only half interested and half invested in. Today I sat down and determined which creative pursuits actually matter the most to me, and which I could put aside, at least for the time being. It’s not easy for me to give up on things but in reality, this isn’t giving up. This is reprioritizing. This is reevaluation.
I’ve had this grand idea of making a video for every one of the songs off of my first Pop Bubblegum Trash record. I’m about halfway there but the videos that remain are just too complex, involve too many people, and more work than I am prepared to invest. Aside from that, the video capture card that has been both a blessing and the bane of my existence, is now sitting in my closet. I determined that it was the cause of the problems I was experiencing yesterday. I’m going to finish the video I’m working on and the video Jon and I were working on and then I am going to be done with it. This means I probably won’t release the VCD/VHS collection I spoke about earlier this year but that’s okay in my mind. I’ll just put the clips that are done up on the site.
The second project I’m thinking of hanging up for a while is Pop Bubblegum Trash. I’m not going to give up the band completely but after I finish the batch of songs I’m working on I don’t plan on starting any new ones for a while. I hope to someday get a live band back together and perhaps more music will come out of that.
This is not to say that the latest PBT material is deficient or lacking in any way either. Quite the opposite is true. I spent most of today working on polishing songs for the forthcoming record, my followup to 2000’s Ascent disc. I’m quite pleased with my progress musically. I just need to concentrate on other things.
With the videos and the music out of my way I will have more time to concentrate on the most important things in the world to me: my writing, my wife, my friends, and eventually, my family. I think I’ve realized that I try to be too many things all at once. I am a jack of all trades but I would like to be the master of one.
I don’t know that I’ll ever be satisfied with just the one creative pursuit but when I need to say something musically I will and if I ever find myself with the right equipment and the right people, perhaps I will endeavor to experiment in the video format again. I’m not really giving up anything, so much as I’m putting things on the backburner and allowing myself to feel good, and justified in doing so.
Tomorrow let’s talk about the other epiphany I had this morning: my thoughts on a move to Portland, ME.