I had this random flashback at lunch today while chomping on my Roasted Chicken Sub from Subway. There was this kid back in Middle School. On a school trip to Washington, D.C. I was rooming with him and two other guys. He was a big kid, an awkward kid. I have pictures from that trip and his outfits throw the color balance off in every one. He’s wearing this flourescent pink hat and these obnoxious shirts… We fucked with him and that pink hat quite a bit. It was quite funny to see him hauling his lard ass around trying to get it back.
Anyway, the thought I had, which always makes me laugh when I have it, is that one of our lunches on that trip was at McDonalds and this was back when they had just started serving the McLean Deluxe. For those of you who don’t remember the McLean Deluxe, it was supposed to be their health-concious burger. Less fat. Less everything. But the very name of the thing betrays how stupid the concept was. It was lean, but it was DELUXE.
The point is, he ordered two that time. I mean, how fucking funny is that? He’s trying to slim down apparently, ordering the healthy burger, but he orders two of them? What the fuck is that gonna solve? Why not just order one fucking Big Mac, be content with being a tubby bitch with tits bigger than any of the girls you had crushes on back then in the Eighth grade, and just…
UGH! It makes me angry and giddy with laughter all at once.