An Implausible Wet Dream

I knew if I talked about Bagels long enough something serious would come up. Seems an old professor stumbled across my site. What a forty to fifty year old man could possibly be interested in on this site is beyond me, but apparently this professor, also a rather prolific, and very talented writer, with a very large temper, and it seems, and even larger stick shoved up his self-righteous ass, took offense to something I, an only somewhat talented writer, never before published, gnat on the map of world importance said. Rather than describe to you how obnoxious the f*cking letter was, I’ll just show it to you.

Dear Chris:
Sorry you think “[REDACTED]” is an implausible story based on a wet dream. When it was first published in in [REDACTED], it was the first story written by a man to ever see print in [FAMOUS WOMEN'S MAGAZINE]. [The editor-in-chief at the time] liked it a lot, and it was anthologized in three different collections. For a brief while, it was required reading at the [BIG UNIVERSITY] in the Women’s Studies curriculum.

By the way, when you decided to label your website “Welcome to My Hell,” was that something you thought up all by yourself? The originality of it is stunning.


Now, somewhat taken aback by the fact that I could get under someone’s skin so much, I sent him this nice little response.

I am entitled to my opinion. Overall I am a fan of your work, and think that the material you produce is good. I happen to dislike “[REDACTED]”. I understood when taking the part that it was a well respected story, a story that [the producer], among others found to be very powerful and very well written. I wasn’t as fond of it, but I was hungry to act, so I took the part. Perhaps that was a bad decision on my part. Perhaps not.

As for my webpage. You may not like it. You may find the playful poke at my own usually negative self image (“welcome to my hell”) unoriginal. You’re entitled to your opinion as well. But I don’t write to please everyone. I don’t think any writer does. So, in my opinion, I don’t think you, as a writer with far more years of experience than me, should be so hurt by my comments. I’m only one person.

E. Christopher Clark

Now I’ve been where he is right now. I’ve taken another person’s criticism too seriously, too much to heart, and let me tell you, it gets you nowhere. You are never going to please everyone. He obviously pleased a lot of people, with the list of accomplishments he provided in his little diatribe. But he takes one little comment from me and gets all bent out of shape about it. Well, at Bradford, where he used to work, and for the uninitiated out there, where I just graduated from, that’s pretty much what everyone said about him the whole time I was there, that he was a classic overreactor. I always try to give someone the benefit of the doubt. He was my very first advisor at Bradford, and I always thought of him as a nice guy. I defended him from time to time to people who thought less of him, because I thought his work was really good. I really can’t believe that a grown man, an establshed writer is throwing a temper tantrum over something I said.

Now I feel important.