British Prick

Robbie Williams is a prick. At least in my opinion. There is this aura about him that just screams to me, “I AM A PRICK!” Everything about him, from the title of his recently released album, “The Ego Has Landed,” to sneering grin… from his obnoxious performance as a James Bond wannabe on last night’s godawful MTV Movie Awards to the way his webpage reconfigured my browser without even so much as asking if it was allowed to do so, just seems to suggest to me that he is a prick. I think that’s how all ex-teen-idols turn out. Just look at Jordan Knight, and that other f*ckin’ NKOTB reject… bitter, untalented pricks trying to once again subject that unsuspecting masses to their idiotic excuse for music. The only teen idol I think has survived this plight is Ricky Martin, and I think that’s only by sheer luck. He could’ve been a prick too, but he lucked out.

That’s why I’m glad Soma never made it big, ‘cause if we had, then when I made my comeback I’d probably come back as a prick. And I mean, look at Britney Spears… Can you imagine how much of a bitch she’s gonna be as an ex-teen-idol when she comes back at 30, sagging implants and all?

No. I’m glad I was never a teen idol. I don’t ever want to be a prick.

And a voice from the audience cries out, “TOO LATE!”

But actually, the point of all this really has more to do with why he’s a prick than it has to do with the simple fact that he is one. Williams is a prick for exploiting the millenial tendencies of the buying public by releasing a half-baked, crock of shit single, in the same way that the Backstreet Boys have done with the titling of their latest effort. You’d never see a respectable artist like Prince titling his album Millenium.

I’d rather be a porn star than a teen idol. Cause see, when porn stars become has-beens and make come-backs as rock-stars they never come out anywhere near as pretentious, and they get lots more free press. Think of Traci Lords, or the recently mentioned in Entertainment Weekly starlets featured on the CD, Porn To Rock.

END RANT HERE